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How Do I Keep My Wife From Knowing I Pay Child Support?

17 August, 2010 (06:20) | FAQ, Marriage & Divorce | By: stlscorpio


idolfan1980 asked:
I had a affair behind my wife’s back. My ex-mistress has filed for child support and medical support (1 year old son will be on my health insurance). Paternity test came back positive. Is there any way to keep the child support and medical support a secret from my wife? I’m not ready to tell her yet!

Answer: Child support most commonly comes out of your check as a direct deduction from your employer. If that is your case and your spouse sees your checks there is very little you can do to disguise the information. Your employer is required by law to do that and probably list it on your check as child support. You can try human resources to see if there is another way they could list the deduction, but in reality if your spouse sees your checks or verifies the deposit in any way she’s going to know there is a new deduction and will likely want an explanation.

The other thing you could do is work out a direct payment with the baby’s mother. This would keep it from coming out of your check. But the money still has to come from somewhere. It seems pretty unlikely that your spouse won’t know unless you have separate accounts and can still make your full financial contribution to the family.

You may also have health insurance issues that you need to work out. If your spouse reads your coverage information she is going to see the new child added on. Lucky for you on that one that most people don’t read their own health insurance documents let alone their spouses.

Related posts:

  1. When Do I Need A Child Support Lawyer?

Comments

Comment from Invisigoth
Time August 19, 2010 at 2:47 pm

keeping it a secret will just delay an ugly scene and make it even uglier when she does find out.

time to face the music. man up and tell her.

Comment from Tricia G
Time August 21, 2010 at 9:31 pm

You have to man up and tell your wife.

Comment from ablex
Time August 24, 2010 at 1:52 pm

Unless she sees your check stubs, there’s no way she would know you were paying support. You may have to explain a sudden decrease in your take-home pay, however. And the medical insurance probably won’t be an issue, either. It isn’t like they will call her up and tell her about it.
Obviously you should be honest with your wife, blah blah blah, you know that. But in answer to your question, it isn’t easy but it is possible.

Comment from ouragon
Time August 25, 2010 at 6:35 pm

The child’s name will be on your insurance card and online when you pull up insurance info.

Plus, the CS people will mail many things to your home.

You really need to tell.

Comment from sinned
Time August 28, 2010 at 2:05 pm

you might be keeping a divorce secret later. be honest!

Comment from jennifermavens
Time August 31, 2010 at 12:15 pm

Wives are not stupid. She already knows you had an affair, and when she notices the money not coming in like it used to, she’s going to add one plus one. A better question would be “how do I tell my wife I fathered a child outside of marriage?” The sooner you do it, the easier it will be. Not that it will be easy, but hey – you should have thought of that sooner, pig.

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